Posted by admin | Oct 15, 2018 | Countries | 0
In this post, you will find amazing Las Vegas sayings.
Table of ContentsCasino terms lingo, phrases and jargon for casino gambling games. The language of gambling for 8 money games at Gamerisms are defined for casino players. Number 12 presents a problem to me. A catch 22 is an unwinnable situation with very specific characteristics, not just any “no win” scenario. Despite the careless way it is used, it is best to leave that idiom to mean what nothing else does. Rick on April 07, 2016 9:23 pm. Ditto, Curtis2:1 odds.
Short Las Vegas Sayings
“In Las Vegas, nothing ends very well.” —Walter Wykes
“A little bit of this town goes a very long way.” —Hunter S. Thompson
“Las Vegas is a very strange place. It’s a place of broken dreams.” —Concha Buika
“For a loser, Vegas is the meanest town on earth.” —Hunter S. Thompson
“Every time I go to Vegas, I seem to incur some kind of fine.” —Artie Lange
“Las Vegas is a resort whose two chief sources of income are seven and eleven.” —Evan Esar
“Las Vegas: It was not cafe society, it was Nescafe society.” —Noel Coward
“Las Vegas is a city built on hopes, dreams, and a little bit of crazy.” —Michael Mcdonald
“Hatred is not what Las Vegas is about.” —Oscar Goodman
“Las Vegas — America’s favorite desert mirage.” —Terri Guillemets
“There’s just no quiet in Vegas.” —Barry Manilow
“Las Vegas is the only place I know where money really talks–it says, “Goodbye”.” —Frank Sinatra
“If you aim to leave Las Vegas with a small fortune, go there with a large one.” —Unknown
“I shouldn’t be near Vegas and have money in my pocket.” —Adam Sandler
Youtube poker games. “The people who say New York never sleeps must have never visited Las Vegas.” —Michelle Madow
“If you know how to live in Vegas you can have the best time.” —Tony Curtis
“Vegas is everything that’s right with America.” —Drew Carey
“Las Vegas without Wayne Newton is like Disneyland without Mickey Mouse.” —Merv Griffin
“Good girls go to Heaven. Bad girls go to Vegas.” —Unknown
“Las Vegas looks the way you’d imagine heaven must look at night.” —Chuck Palahniuk
“Capitalism is a warrior culture, a hierarchical mode, and Las Vegas is its epitome.” —Hal Rothman
“Las Vegas, the most expensive toilet in the world that still can’t flush.” —Brin-Jonathan Butler
“Vegas is a celebration.” —Jose Andres
“It’s hard to imagine a bigger desert oasis than Las Vegas.” —Unknown
“Vegas means comedy, tragedy, happiness and sadness all at the same time.” —Artie Lange
“Bangkok, like Las Vegas, sounds like a place where you make bad decisions.” —Todd Phillips
“Las Vegas is a feast or famine kind of city.” —Unknown
Las Vegas Sayings
“No one thinks Las Vegas is real; it is illusion, but visitors willingly suspend disbelief and pretend.” —Hal Rothman
“A weekend in Vegas without gambling and drinking is just like being a born-again Christian.” —Artie Lange
“Las Vegas is the suicide capital of America … and not everyone who comes here leaves here. Sometimes, what happens in Vegas truly stays in Vegas.” —Paul W. Papa
“While I was busy hating Vegas, and hiding from Vegas, a funny thing happened. I grew to love Vegas.” —J. R. Moehringer
“Las Vegas is the only town in the world whose skyline is made up neither of buildings, like New York, nor of trees, like Wilbraham, Massachusetts, but signs.” —Tom Wolfe
“Vegas is everything that’s right with America. You can do whatever you want, 24 hours a day. They’ve effectively legalized everything there.” —Drew Carey
“Seriously, why tour the world when all you have to do is visit Las Vegas and see all the highlights in one location?” —Jeff Maguire
![Gambling Catch Phrases Gambling Catch Phrases](https://www.thewowstyle.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/Cute_Quotes_Tumblr_03.jpg)
“I love Vegas. God knows that I know how to find my way around the buffets in Las Vegas.” —Mick Majerus
“Las Vegas is like that, a place that resonates in such a way that wouldn’t now if the place is real.” —Ian Astbury
“The only difference between Las Vegas and Washington, D.C. is that at least Vegas has the decency to admit the town is full of hookers and crooks.” —Glenn Beck
“What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas … but that doesn’t matter when you live there.” —Michelle Madow
“Las Vegas: all the amenities of modern society in a habitat unfit to grow a tomato.” —Jason Love
“Retirement is like a long vacation in Las Vegas. The goal is to enjoy it the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money.” —Jonathan Clements
“In Vegas, the veneer of glamor was bright but thin. You didn’t have to look that hard to see the darker realities that lurked beneath the surface.” —Rob Thomas
“I’ve been in Vegas. That’s where you get into the money thing. Boy, you get greedy in Vegas, you know. That’s the only place that you can bet $25, get it up to $500 and refuse to quit.” —Louie Anderson
“It is not economic development; it’s about taking money out of the consumer economy and shipping it off to Las Vegas.” —John Warren
Top Ten Las Vegas Sayings
Here you will find top ten Las Vegas Sayings selected by our team.
Gaming Catch Phrases
- “If you know how to live in Vegas you can have the best time.” —Tony Curtis
- “Las Vegas looks the way you’d imagine heaven must look at night.” —Chuck Palahniuk
- “Las Vegas is a resort whose two chief sources of income are seven and eleven.” —Evan Esar
- “If you aim to leave Las Vegas with a small fortune, go there with a large one.” —Unknown
- “Las Vegas is a very strange place. It’s a place of broken dreams.” —Concha Buika
- “No one thinks Las Vegas is real; it is illusion, but visitors willingly suspend disbelief and pretend.” —Hal Rothman
- “A weekend in Vegas without gambling and drinking is just like being a born-again Christian.” —Artie Lange
- “Las Vegas is the only town in the world whose skyline is made up neither of buildings, like New York, nor of trees, like Wilbraham, Massachusetts, but signs.” —Tom Wolfe
- “Las Vegas is the only place I know where money really talks–it says, “Goodbye”.” —Frank Sinatra
- “Las Vegas is a city built on hopes, dreams, and a little bit of crazy.” —Michael Mcdonald
Check out our collection of funny gambling jokes. We are sure they will make you laugh. If you have any gambling jokes as good, upload them at the bottom of this page.
1) I just bet £100 at the bookies that they would find Maddie, at 1000-1 odds. That way, if they ever do find her, I’ll be able to afford a fucking good lawyer.
Check out Really Funny Lawyer Jokes
Check out Really Funny Lawyer Jokes
2) Chuck-E-Cheese, because it’s never too early to introduce your child to poor nutrition and gambling.
3) My wife has left me because I am a compulsive gambler. I’d do anything to win her back.
4) Poker is like sex – everyone thinks they’re the best, but most people don’t have a clue what they’re doing. Dutch Boyd
Check out Really Funny Sex Jokes
Check out Really Funny Sex Jokes
5) What’s the difference between prayer in church and prayer in a casino? In a casino, you really mean it.
6) A blond girl playing freeroll was taking her time and playing very slow. The timer was started and she still could not take a decision how to play the hand. Her friend asked her with surprise, “What is going on? Why aren’t you playing?” The blond girl replied, “I am playing! I am just slow-playing aces!”
Check out some of the funniest Dumb Blonde Jokes ever
Check out some of the funniest Dumb Blonde Jokes ever
7) Why didn’t the elephant like to play cards in the jungle? Because there were too many cheetahs.
8) They say one in every seven friends have a gambling addiction. My money’s on Dave.
Check out Really Funny Money Jokes
Check out Really Funny Money Jokes
9) What did the giraffe say to the tiger at the poker table? I thought you were a cheetah.
![Catchy Catchy](https://mcmoutletonline.com/pics/bud-light-catch-phrases.jpg)
10) What’s the difference between a poker player and a dog? In about ten years, the dog quits whining.
Check out Really Funny Animal Jokes
Check out Really Funny Animal Jokes
11) Whats the difference between online poker and live poker? You can cry after a bad beat online and no one will laugh at you.
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12) Sign you might have a poker addiction: your kids are named check and raise.
13) I put a thousand pounds on a horse. The fucking thing collapsed.
Check out some of the best Horse Jokes ever published
Check out some of the best Horse Jokes ever published
14) Chuck Norris won the World Series of Poker using Pokemon cards.
15) “I am looking for the book named ‘How to win easily and fast with poker.'” “Please check at the fantastic literature counter.”
16. Husband Comes Home After Gambling
I came home from the pub four hours late last night.
“Where the fuck have you been?” screamed my wife.
I said, “I’ve been playing poker with some blokes.”
“Playing poker with some blokes?” she repeated. “Well, you can pack your bags and go!”
“So can you,” I said. “This isn’t our house anymore.”
17. Professional Gambler Screws Everyone In The Bar
During the Great Depression, there was a man who walked into a bar one day. He went up to the bartender and said, “Bartender, I’d like to buy the house a round of drinks.”
The bartender said, “That’s fine, but we’re in the middle of the Depression, so I’ll need to see some money first.”
The guy pulled out a huge wad of notes and set them on the bar. The bartender can’t believe what he’s seeing. “Where did you get all that money?” asked the bartender.
“I’m a professional gambler,” replied the man.
The bartender said, “There’s no such thing! I mean, your odds are fifty-fifty at best, right?”
“Well, I only bet on sure things,” said the guy.
“Like what?” asked the bartender.
“Well, for example, I’ll bet you fifty dollars that I can bite my right eye,” he said.
The bartender thought about it. “Okay,” he said.
So, the guy pulled out his false right eye and bit it. “Aw, you screwed me,” said the bartender, and paid the guy his $50.
“I’ll give you another chance. I’ll bet you another fifty dollars that I can bite my left eye,” said the stranger.
The bartender thought again and said, “Well, I know you’re not blind, I mean, I watched you walk in here. I’ll take that bet.” So, the guy pulled out his false teeth and bit his left eye.
“Aw, you screwed me again!” protested the bartender.
Gambling Phrases Idioms
“That’s how I win so much money, bartender. I’ll just take a bottle of your best scotch in lieu of the fifty dollars,” said the man.
With that, the guy went to the back room and spent the better part of the night playing cards with some of the locals. After many hours of drinking and card playing, he stumbled up to the bar. Drunk as a skunk, he said, “Bartender, I’ll give you one last chance. I’ll bet you five hundred dollars that I can stand on this bar on one foot and piss into that whisky bottle on that shelf behind you without spilling a drop.”
The bartender once again pondered the bet. The guy couldn’t even stand up straight on two feet, much less one. “Okay, you’re on,” he said.
The guy climbed up on the bar, stood on one leg, and began pissing all over the place. He hit the bar, the bartender, himself, but not a drop made it into the whisky bottle.
The bartender was ecstatic. Laughing, the bartender said, “Hey pal, you owe me five hundred dollars!”
The guy climbed down off the bar and said, “That’s okay. I just bet each of the guys in the card room a thousand bucks each that I could piss all over you and the bar and still make you laugh!”
Check out our awesome collection of Walks Into A Bar Jokes
Check out our awesome collection of Walks Into A Bar Jokes
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Related Links: 1. Gambling Jokes from Sickipedia.org 2. Gambling Jokes from Jokes4us.com